Love Alone is Never Enough

How much would you expect someone’s coming back after a long period of silence? Not too much for sure, seeing my infrequent posting. It is a student of mine who raised me from the “grave” of writing by showing her beautifully designed and incredibly well written blog with very creative contents.

Envision you have two crates of beer with high alcohol content and you are about to give them to two different people. Both of them have similar characteristics, preferences, and family background. The only difference lies on what each person is doing. The first person is retired boxer, gets involved in street fights nearly every week, and visits casinos in leisure. The other is a footballer, gives a regular coaching clinic a week, and read books in leisure. Presuming only those mentioned are the only differences between the two people, which one would most likely to accept your ‘gift’?

            It should come up that being nice-hearted does nothing to do with doing the right thing. An alcoholic is not a really good guy, but a good guy is not less likely to be an alcoholic. There are many examples you can find out there, but i still have it in my memory of Lance Armstrong. He is the guy whom I always used as an inspiration to my students, but turned out that he ended years of denials by admitting he used performance-enhancing drugs to win his seven Tour de France titles. How could it not shock me?

            The drive of I am writing this is my being bothered by two of Dave Pelzer’s trilogy books – A Child Called “It” and The Lost Boy. I finally finished reading the first book after extensive attempts (well I always closed that book spontaneously after two pages reading). I managed to read half of the second book before I decided that I could not continue. It portrays a poor boy who got severe sufferings (described to be a series of extreme tortures) from his mother. The boy himself spoke that his mother truly loved him and his life before turning five was really joyful. If so, how do you think a mother’s love could turn into madness?

Dave Pelzer's first book

              If we see how the story of Hellen Keller became an inspiration to the world, we will find that the key of it was about parenting. There was no way that girl could control her temper if her mother kept constantly giving her whatever she asked (candies as the example shown in the film). Anne Sullivan, the instructor and companion of hers, gave different approach by prioritizing discipline and eventually got a great success by “converting” that little evil to become an angel to the world. Annye Rothenberg, Ph.D, a child/parent psychologist, adds about parenting, “Children all have to learn that when parents say no, it doesn't mean we don't love them.” My apology for comparing to dogs, but Cesar Milan has truth in his saying, “Exercise, discipline, and affection..in THAT ORDER.” 

 

My question to Adora Svitak, a seven year old author of “Flying Fingers”

             So, what’s wrong with having love and showing affection? Nothing’s wrong. In fact, it is the most important above all, “And now abide faith, hope and love; these three, but the greatest of these is love.” (Corinthians 13:13). Yet love alone is never enough. Nelson Mandela reinforces it, “A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.” Up to this point, I may sum it up all simply, with love you can do the right things in life, with enough understanding you can do them in the right way.